Posted on November 15, 2018 at 5:00 AM


How to Recognize MANIPULATION

Written by Michelle 

It is harrrd to spot manipulation, especially because it usually comes from people you love. You think it’s just their opinion, their wish,their way … until you realize you are acting exactly according to what that person wants due to them putting some thought in your mind constantly, every day, for a long time until you are too tired to argue.


THAT is manipulation big time.

You act as if it was natural to you, but you are going in the exact direction the manipulator wants you to go without even noticing it. You are not your own person anymore.


And because it is so hard to spot manipulation, the best thing for you to do is to work on YOURSELF so that you stop other person’s wish for how you should live your life from the beginning. People should not dictate how you live your life, that is Ludacris.

Would you tell somebody that their way of thinking is totally wrong, or try to tell them their mother doesn’t love them? It’s insane, what kind of person does that?

The Manipulator

Today I know. Unfortunately, my husband is the person that did it. He showed me all the ugly and the truths about MY life. That’s right. He seems to know more about my life and my sentiments than I ever will (!). I have gotten so insecure thinking that maybe he was right! He almost twisted everything I knew about myself and my values and made me second guess myself for years.


But just because I recognize it, it doesn’t mean I can break free from it. Identifying is only the tip of the iceberg toward recovery to owning your own self again. It is an eye-opening roller coaster journey to understanding how the other constantly tried to win you, to take from you, to be stronger, and to make you feel weak, even when you give yourself willingly.

The Fear

Separation would be the most plausible solution, but when there is family involved, there is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of separation affecting the kids in a very negative way…it is a lot to bear, especially when you fell already so fragilized.

On the other hand, if I stay, what am I teaching my kids? I want nothing more in my life than for them to be free spirited and happy. And I am not being a good example for that. It’s kind of heartbreaking both ways.

You, who are young, I beg you: don’t let go of your sincere wishes to make life more comfortable for somebody else, IT IS YOUR LIFE! Nobody deserves such big sacrifice from you, no one! Be selfish, know you come first in this world, and if need to be, cause arguments, and if the atmosphere is not peaceful anymore, then that is your hint: that person is not for you.

I can’t feel diminished going against my deepest beliefs to make a situation ok. The right person, the one who loves you, will raise your strengths, not wait anxiously to point out your flaws and take advantage of it.


Mihelle Lima

Vidart & Life writter collaborator

I hope this post can be helpful to you in some way, leave a comment and let us know what is your biggest struggle and how you are dealing with it.


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